The Fireside Theatre

“I guess there are drawbacks in being the girl-about-town,” wrote my friend Marney after she heard I was at the Fireside last weekend.  “Am I correct to have an image in my head of walkers, oxygen tanks, sherbet or carrot cake for desert, and bad cocktails?” Well, not quite, but it was a good question.  As I was chatting away with some First Stage Children’s Theatre people at Bob Friedman's party a couple months ago, they said, "You know, you really should go to the Fireside to see what it's like out there." 

Okay - fair enough.  I donned my cat-eyes, pinup girl shirt and brought my friend Margaret along – both for moral support and for the sheer fact that she was actually alive in the fifties, which was the theme of their current production - "The Fabulous Fifties."  SO - off we went to Fort Atkinson, which according to the map they sent me, was a mere 60 minutes away from Milwaukee - a straight shot down Hwy. 26 off of Int. 94 West.  Not quite.  26 winds its way through the heart of Jefferson (don't blink - you might miss it) and then into Ft. Atkinson.  So after what seemed like a very long and involved series of twists and turns along Bus. 26, we managed (with the help of a couple subtle signs along the way) to make it to our destination about 15 min. late.  I felt like I was pulling into a mini-Potawatomi lot - huge tour buses were unloading at the front entrance, and a long line of people were filing into the place.  We quickly joined them and snaked our way down the hallway of gift shops (?) that reminded me of the gaily painted crap depots you encounter at Six Flags or some such locale.  We were shown to our table which was situated alongside a little river/stream fountain sort of thing.  And flocking - iridescent Christmas trees and poinsettias (maybe they're getting ready for NEXT year) - as far as the eye could see.  Which seemed to be quite far - the mirrored walls gave the illusion that this cavernous holiday forest really did go on forever.  Since dinner is required with your ticket purchase, Margaret and I were treated to a meal so elaborate I felt dangerously close to slipping into a food coma.  Steak, HUGE butterflied shrimp tempura, some sort of pork/creamy cheese spread appetizers, greens salad with a chablis vinagrette dressing and carmelized walnuts (mmm), chicken orzo soup, fresh cheddar and/or dill bread (served piece-by-piece by a strolling bread basket girl) and, for dessert, some delectable lemon/cherry cheesecake confection.  All brought to us by our wonderfully doting waitress, Kelly.  And the DRINKS - as we were following the polite young man (yikes - sounds like the clientele kinda rubbed off on me) to our table, we noticed people sipping these exotic-looking drinks with the largest ornamental fans I've ever seen ("you could put an eye out with that").  "I want one of THOSE, I said to Kelly, pointing to the nearest table.  Although, my friend Tammy told me later on that we should have ordered the Volcano, which is this flaming bowl of alcohol for two that gets you LOADED.  Maybe next time. 

Anyway, before we knew it, we were being summoned to the theater.  Time flies when you are eating for three hours I guess.  We followed our lady usher into the small, but packed square theater-in-the-round.  Not an empty seat was to be found.  Nor was anyone under 40. "Look, there are some young people over there," said Margaret, vaguely gesturing in a general direction.  Maybe I just couldn't see them, or maybe by "young" she meant something else.  Either way, Mr. Klopcic, the proprietor, gave us a hearty welcome and then went into reciting a litany of anniversaries ranging from 27 to 50 years (!).  He also made a point to remind the audience of the Fireside’s upcoming Christian concert series and, as he concluded, he hoped that we would enjoy the show - "And may the Lord Jesus Christ bless us all." 

The band, however, was pretty impressive, as it arose from a pit in the middle of the stage and was rotated like a musical merry-go-round so we could all get a good view of the musicians.  In fact, reed-men John Hibler and Curt Hanrahan are college professors.  Jeff Pietrangelo (trumpet) and Claude Cailliet (trombone) have performed, recorded and arranged music with the likes of U2, Liberace, Neil Young and Johnny Mathis, just to name a few.  Guitarist Ralph Brunner used to be in Feet of Clay.  Keyboardist/vocalist Steve Watts was very engaging and dynamic, especially in his rendition of Jerry Lee Lewis's "Great Balls of Fire."  The Fabulous Fifties dancers were, well, what you'd expect in a dinner theater in rural Wisconsin - no Obie award-winners, but they weren't half bad.  Emcee Dan Embree and their token latino, “Rico,” have also performed in Branson, MO - if that doesn’t paint a picture for you, then I don’t know what will.  On the other hand, the rockabilly one - who played his own guitar, I might add - was trained at NYU’s Steinhardt School. 

During the intermission, we went down to the bar, where literally a dozen bartenders rushed to serve us.  Wow.  If only some places in Milwaukee would follow their example. . . unfortunately, the intermission seemed to just fly by and we were then treated to ANOTHER round of fabulous fifties nostalgia.  Margaret really got a kick out of it - the recordings of old-timey commercials, game shows and fads really brought all the memories back for her.  And she wasn't alone.  The crowd seemed to be really getting into it - singing along with the songs and laughing at the George and Gracie routine.  At one point, Dan Embree said, "The fifties were a time of innocence before the turbulent and troubled decades to come."  That's pretty much the gist of it - an evening of safe, non-threatening, inoffensive, intellectually unchallenging entertainment.  And that's what we got.  The couple next to us from Poynette had been to the Fireside three times before.  I only wish I had the nerve to turn around and tell the couple behind us to shut the #$*@ up - it was as if they were watching the Jerry Springer show on TV in their own living room.  And THEN, after the intermission, the woman was snapping/cracking her GUM - A LOT.  LOUDLY.  NONSTOP.  If it weren't for the fact that she could have squashed me like a bug if the spirit moved her, I would have been more pro-active about the situation.  MAN.  Regardless, the show ended on a somewhat somber note - and it would have been SO cool if they would have played Don McLean's "American Pie," but they didn't.  Well, you can’t have it all.

After the show, the crowd shuffled slowly but happily out of the theater and onto their nice warm coaches as Margaret and I wearily found our way back to the car.  Unfortunately, it is NOT as easy to leave Fort Atkinson as it is to find your way there due to a distinct LACK of signage, so we ended up getting kind of lost, for which, at that point, I was NOT in the mood.  I didn't get home until 12:30 or so.  An exhausting stint, but boy did I enjoy those leftovers the next day – yum . . . now if only I could just get that damned yellow polka-dot bikini song out of my head . . . sigh.  .  .               

Comments

[Fireside Fan]

I had a chance to read your blog posting regarding your "experience" at the Fireside Theater. While your postings are meant to be subjective and personal, let me respectfully offer my subjective opinion.

I thought your posting was mean-spirited and unfair. In fact, to take pot shots at the demographics of the theater's clientele, the gift shop, etc. is really like shooting fish in a barrel.

The Fireside is what it is and yes comparisons to the old "Lawrence Welk Show" and perhaps some of the entertainment offerings in Branson, Mo. are apt, that doesn't make them bad or should subject that to unfair ridicule. How wonderful it is for a venue to cater to the tastes of older Americans, especially as our population continues to age. In our youth-obsessed culture, maybe we need some more "homespun" places like the Fireside.

The works of Rodgers & Hammerstein, Cole Porter, George Gershwin, Irving Berlin, Frank Loesser and other tunesmiths that invented the Broadway musical (the same shows that are staples at the Fireside) may seem a bit arcane to younger generations, but they will certainly "outlast" the work that currently passes itself off as "art."

[Marney]

Well Sarah, I stand corrected. Sounds like the food and drink make it worth the trip.
-Marney

[Kevin]

It actually was a lemon cheesecake with strawberry sauce.

[John A Gorski]

Well, Well, Well, your picture shows you as a dark haired beauty with dark glasses? A Democrat? A Liberal? I wonder? Anyway, isn't it amazing that a nice looking young woman like you, cannot find Fort Atkinson Wisconsin and the Fireside Theatre and yet, these "Blue Haired" ole ladies with their canes and walkers and feeble old men with their canes and walkers, can find it with no problems at all and even get home in one piece? Amazing eh? Are you really a blonde and posing as a brunette? I wonder?
Actually, I really think that as a blonde Democrat you just could not find anything nice to say about a nice religious, conservative family oriented entertainment venue, so you had to blame the booze, your inept sense of direction and inability to read directions for what has been, for many years and many generations, a wonderful form of family entertainment.
I sincerely doubt that you have ever seen a real Broadway show or even an off Broadway show,because you portrayed another guest as being rude. My dear, New Yorkers are famous for their rudeness and that guest probably didn't like your drunken comments to your friend. Which no doubt were loud so they retaliated and that is probably why they acted the way they did to you! So if you didn't like the show, why did you stay? To annoy others? I wonder? Anyway, I am sincerely sorry that a Blonde Democrat, like you, found disatisfaction with a fine venue of family entertainment. I hope that your friend has realized her mistake and never takes you to good wholesome family entertainment again. Maybe you would prefer gangster rap and murder and mayhem themes. I think you rather would like them. Because it is plain you certainly don't like anything considered old! God Forbid you have an open mind eh! I really wonder why critics like you even exists when you have such a closed mind to anything entertaining that you really don't understand.
I am sure that the Fireside Dinner Theatre will never miss the likes of you and I am most sure that you will never grace their doors again. Afterall, they cater to "Old People". My My lady, you are such a fine Democrat!
A fine Conservative, Religious and Family establishment certainly does not need the likes of like you to cross their stoop. (That is a porch for you youngsters!)